Thankfully, I have had an uneventful, healthy pregnancy thus far. I have been more relaxed, and knowing that this is FOR SURE the last pregnancy I will have the pleasure to carry, I want to make sure to enjoy it and not have my entire existence revolve around fear for 10 months. However, this week was a tough one for me, emotional if you will. The 18 week mark always stings my heart a bit, brings me right back to the very second that I found out that Nathan, our first son no longer had a beating heart. I remember every detail of that day and this week it seems to be haunting me in a way I was hoping wouldn't exist with this pregnancy. Its a reminder that we are guaranteed nothing in life. Every day of life is a precious one. So today I am counting my blessing. I am grateful for every day I remain pregnant with this precious gift and I do not take one. single. kick. for granted.
I am so thankful that I have already been blessed with two beautiful, healthy children whom I cannot imagine my life without and an amazing husband who would do anything for his family. We definitely don't live a perfect, care free life. We have our moments when life is crazy, the kids are crazy, our jobs are crazy, and there are days that we might say "what the heck are we doing"? but I wouldn't change my life for anything. Even the bad parts, they make us who we are today. I feel lucky to have a little angel up in heaven looking out for us. I think the memory of his pregnancy is a good reminder for this mommy to look at all that I have and to slow down and enjoy it. You never know what tomorrow will bring. This doesn't mean that I will walk around with a 24/7 grin by any means, I am me, I get grumpy, my kids sometimes drive me nuts, I argue with my husband, and life goes on, it just means that I will find those moments I enjoy most and hold on to those forever, and find them more often!
