Life as I know it....

Has been forever changed. These last two months have been nothing short of amazing and yet so very chaotic. I enjoyed 10 weeks of maternity leave with my littles and just this week have returned to work. I have never felt so sad. Working nights with a newborn is new territory for me and quite frankly it stinks. I worry about everything. I mean everything. What if daddy doesn't hear Grant, even though he is in the same room just feet away, what if he forgets to turn the monitor on and Grayson wakes up scared and nobody is there to comfort him, what if daddy falls asleep on the couch downstairs and he doesn't hear any of the kids, what if he forgets to lock the door, or there is a fire and something terrible happens to my whole family but not myself......the worry list goes on and on. I know its ridiculous but truly these are the things that run through my head. Perhaps I need medication! LOL! On the bright side....Work is going well and the kids are very well cared for. I appreciate every single snuggle, or as Grayson calls it "nuggle" that the littles shower me with. Grant is 2 months old already, I can hardly believe it. I am already mourning his newborness. He has grown so fast. We were at the ped's last week because he caught the unfortunate summer cold that mommy had and he weighed in at 13lbs 13oz....all from mommy's milk! WOW! He is smiling on cue all the time and even giggled once for daddy. I was really sad to have missed it since I only witnessed a sleepy giggle a few nights before. Ah well, I guess daddy gets the glory sometimes. He is still a very happy baby, only cries when he is gassy, wet, or hungry! He is sleeping a good 5 hr stretch once he is down in the evening.....errr early morning. He likes 12:30 am as a bedtime. He nurses and is right back to sleep for a few more hours. He still sleeps a majority of the day. Again, new territory for me since the older two had colic and spent the first 3 months of life crying non stop. I'm soaking in every single minute with him. Grayson is talking more than ever and I adore it. He was a boy with few words until recently. Now he talks in full sentances and I could listen to him talk all day long. He has such a strong personality....can't imagine where he got that from! He knows what he wants and if he doesn't get it he is going to protest and I am quite certain the neighbors know what I am talking about. He can go from 100% sweet to 100% angry in 2.2 seconds. His anger mostly stems from his sissy. They fight non stop, surely trying to make me crazy! I spend far too much time yelling at them....I'm trying to work on that! I will keep you posted on how that goes! This summer we have been working on singing the ABC's, colors, counting, and shapes. Its amazing how much different boys are than girls when it comes to learning. I can hold his attention no longer than 5 minutes and he is off running. I am so proud of Grayson for what a wonderful, caring big brother he has become. He wants to know where Grant is every second. If he cries he says "momma, Gwant Hungy, He nurse" It melts my heart. Even 2 months later he still wants to hold him and love on him all the time. I hope they become great friends as they grow older together. Miss V will start her second year of preschool and her 3rd year of dance next month. She has grown so big and independent right before my eyes. I am sad and proud all at the same time. She is so much into make believe right now and I love it. I could listen to her from dawn to dusk, she has such an imagination. Her and Grayson will play pretend for hours some days. Her favorite is to be the mommy and she changes diapers...even uses cloth, she pretends to nurse her babies and even makes a fabric carrier for them...ADORABLE! Sometimes I have to remind myself that she is only 4. She acts much older and I believe sometimes I am too hard on her. I am working on this too. Again, I will keep you posted! Joe fits his role as super dad quite well thses days, he has a lot more patience than me and I am very thankful. Many days when he gets home from work the kids are relieved to see him...probably because I have spent my day bellowing at them. They race up to daddy and treat him like a jungle gym, I think he loves it! In other news Joe has an interview in Traverse City next week and I am beyond excited and hopeful. Its a beautiful city and less than an hour from my best friend! FINGERS CROSSED!! As for me.....I am taking every day in strides, trying to improve as a mommy, wife, and nurse with the goal of enjoying every moment....even the not so great ones!