What a day

Today has been full of emotions. I started my day with a routine colonoscopy that has to be done every 2 years because I have Crohns disease. The procedure went smoothly and was over quickly. Then the doctor came in and told me that there was a worrisome area. My heart sank. The first thing that came to mind is colon cancer. He said he took several biopsy's and that we will know something in about 10 days. I asked him what he thought. Not very reassuringly, he stated that he did not feel that it was cancer but that he could not be certain. He thinks its a patch of inflammation and colitis. Sigh. So here I sit, scared as hell. What if......these feeling just keep flooding my head today. What if in 6 months I am not here to care for my children? What if I leave my husband behind? My children aren't even old enough to remember me if something happens. All of these emotions break my heart. I am so scared. Colon caner takes lives unexpectedly all the time. What if I am one of them.....

Then I came home to my beautiful children and my day got better. Their smiles and laughter brought me to tears. I am going to try and think positive, although this is not an easy task for me. I hate to admit that I am a pessimist but its true. I will keep everyone posted...... here is something to end this post on a better note....pictures of my littles!
Maybe she is a pessimist too? lol

<3